Linksploitation: November 20, 2009
The McBeardo Express has been running over some rough personal and professional terrain of late, but it keeps on chugging. Keep on checking in. Please. YOU PEOPLE ARE ALL I’VE GOT!!!
9 Sexedelic Nude Scenes From 1969. (Mr. Skin)
Dave Szulkin on Coffin Joe, The Meatmen, Allan MacDonell, Michael Berryman y mucho mas. (Hard Feelings)
Vintage Times Square freaks: Do not miss Josh Alan Friedman’s Lost New York photos! And, Josh, keep them coming! (Black Cracker)
11 Swinging Nude Scenes from 1979. (Mr. Skin)
Karen Black: the magnificent movie star, not the Voluptuous Horror of. (Day of the Woman)
9 Knockout Nude Scenes from 1989 (Mr. Skin)
Whither Full Force Frank? (AV Maniacs)
Retro Skin: Private School (Mr. Skin)
Can’t we all just go back to zine publishing? (Temple of Schlock)
This Week in Skinstory: November 15-21. (Mr. Skin - detecting any themes yet?)
Hold on. I’m coming. Back. Soon. Ish.
McBeardo is off-blog for the moment, as I have been for the past few weeks.
I’ll be rejoining you shortly. Wish I could say I was concocting something truly mind-atomizing to explain my absence, but I won’t lie to you.
Not about something as non-self-serving as that, anyway.
In the meantime, go get devastated by the trash-movie mastery on parade at Temple of Schlock.
Reviews: NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD, SAW 6, PARANORMAL ACTIVITY
Paying work beckons me away from the blog too often these days, which, I understand, 
is a complaint that should be dutifully underscored by the sound of Artie Lange’s sarcastic wail: “WAAHHHHH!”
Still, I am committed to keeping this whacked-out movie dialogue going twixt I and you, dear readers, and so here’s a capsule round-up of what I’ve watched lately. I’ll even throw in letter grades for you skim-skims out there. Here’s three. More’s coming.
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NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD: THE WILD, UNTOLD STORY OF OZSPLOITATION! (2008)
The subject matter is irresistible, but that’s no guarantee of a worthwhile docu
mentary. Cases in point: Inside Deep Throat (2005), which glossily chokes the endlessly fascinating story of history’s definitive dirty movie into feel-cool, liberal Hollywood propaganda; and You’re Gonna Miss Me (2005), which somehow manages to be deadly boring on the topic of off-his-rocker psych-rock pioneer Roky Erikson (who I saw live on Halloween, and who was great).
Not Quite Hollywood makes good on the potential of its source material,
though, joyfully celebrating and illuminating Australian-made exploitation movies from the 1970s and ’80s, from the worldwide hits (Mad Max, Patrick) to cult triumphs (Turkey Shoot, Road Games) to some right ripping, culturally non-translatable wonders (Alvin Purple, Barry Humphries’ Barry McKenzie comedies).
Also explored in-depth are The Man From Hong Kong (the theme song of which is Jigsaw’s immortal “Sky High”), 
Dr. Gonzo Gates versus a giant pig in the surreal Razorback, the biker 
blowout Stone, The Cars That Eat People, and the astonishing, artful, crumbling-couple-against-nature conflict The Long Weekend. There’s even a bit of BMX Bandits!
Most times, I have no patience for post-Kid-Stays-in-the-Picture whirling photographs and splashing graphics in documentaries, but in Not Quite Hollywood, the peripatetic imagery matches the movies being discussed and adds to the overall impact.
And what discussions they are. Aside from Humphries and filmmakers such as George Miller, Richard Franklin and Fred Schepisi, we also see also George Lazenby, Dennis Hopper, Jamie Lee Curtis, Stacy Keach and, most remarkably, Quentin Tarantino being incredibly non-annoying.
For once, you get the sense that Tarantino’s sole agenda is that he simply loves these movies and he’s loving 
this opportunity to share them with us, punctuated by minimal “OKAY?s” and “ALLRIGHT?s” and “YOUKNOW?s”.
That alone is an achievement, but it may be the least of the reasons to recommend Not Quite Hollywood. And that, plus the instant additions this film will make to your Netflix queue, stands as quite something.
OKAY? ALLRIGHT? YOUKNOW?
Rating: A
Multimedia McBeardo: Heavy Metal, Halloween Horror, Lisa Crystal Carver, Lisa Loeb, New York Ripper, Loverboy
While the McBeardo blog has been quiet this week, McBeardo the Superior Manly Specimen has been on fire behind the scenes.
It comes down to this: I’ve been taking what they’re givin’ cuz I’m working for a livin’, workin’ for the weekend, taking my own job and shovin’ it right 
they sign my (Johnny) paycheck, et cetera.
So as we gear up to bang on the drum all day in Party Town cuz it’s a five o’clock world and it’s five o’clock somewhere and, on top of that, since Monday I’ve had Friday on my mind, and it’s Friday, I’m in love, let’s rundown my recent whereabouts. Eh?
Most spectacularly, Eric Danville’s Official Heavy Metal Book of Lists hit stores and the space taking up pages 42 through 48 may be the least of what’s so skull-bangingly beyond awesome about it.
And make no mistake, those five pages that were written by me – counting down 13 Heavy Metal Horror Movies and 13 Metal Cameos in Non-Metal Movies – are 
magnificent.
But the entire Official Heavy Metal Book of Lists is a work of wonder. Buy now!
Second, ever-heroic Lisa Crystal Carver interviewed me on the topic of Lisa Loeb’s 1994 impact on various cocks, balls, and the universe.
Her entire article is typically Carver brilliant and, yes, I just linked you to Vice magazine.
Third, start visiting the Mr. Skin Blog every day. There you will regular features such as:
THIS WEEK IN SKINSTORY – The current edition highlights the death of Rainbeaux Smith, the birth of Larry Flynt, Susan Dey letting her Partridge pair free in Looker, and Kim Kardashian butting up Playboy. Next week: fun facts on the releases of I Spit on Your Grave, Full Body Massage, 52 Pick Up, Betty Blue, and Catherine “Daisy Duke” Back going lesbo with Leslie Caron.
SKIN LIST – Connecting dots and spots between various noteworthy movie nudity moments. At present: 9 Hot Nude Scenes in Horror Movies from 2009.
RETRO SKIN – For Halloween, a salute to the Euro-lovelies of Lucio Fulci’s New York Ripper (1982).
For Halloween, Mr. Skin also posted a killer Q&A with Re-Animator director Stuart Gordon.
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If you’re reading this and not hating it, odds support the probability that you’ll enjoy these new, regularly scheduled Mr. Skin Blog features.
I’m just not supposed to tell you who writes them.
(Hint: it isn’t Lisa Carver. That mix of personal fluids and SpaghettiO’s on her that you see here, however, is mine.).
Linksploitation: October 23, 2009
Vice magazine (bleccch) showcases random covers from Screw magazine (yay!) while the ever-heroic Dirty Danny Hellman has created an entire blog dedicated to these brilliantly unsanitary artifacts! (Screw Magazine Cover Art Blog)
Howard Stern in the 1986 curiosity, Ryder P.I. (YouTube)
Salute to the other Poor White Trash (2001) which – while not in league with the 1957 Poor White Trash or 1974’s Scum of the Earth aka Poor White Trash 2 – is itself an unsung gem. (Movies About Girls)
Brian Yuzna’s Society (1989) certainly did disappoint me at the time. This review, however, intrigues me anew. And whither Screaming Mad George these days? (House of Self-Indulgence)
Lightning Bug niftily rounds up noteworthy horror sequels. (Lightning Bug’s Lair)
Supersex! Take proper precautions and delve deep into Europe’s greatest and/or grossest spank mag of the 1970s. (Blonde Zombies via Cinema Sewer)
Mr. Skin pays video tribute to Scream Queens. WHO is doing that succulently brilliant voiceover? (Mr. Skin)
Chiller Theater Returns to WPIX on Halloween Night!
Welcome back, O Six-Fingered Thief of Peaceful Childhood Sleep!
If you are an arts and entertainment connoisseur who resided near New York City between 1961 and 1982, your Saturday nights belonged to Chiller Theater on WPIX. I was (from ‘68 onward, anyway) and they did.
And if you happened to be a kid at any point during that era, then Chiller Theater scared the whiz out of you. I was and it did.
And now on Saturday, October 31, 2009, WPIX is bringing back Chiller Theater!
Linksploitation: October 16, 2009
The Official Heavy Metal Book of Lists by Eric Danville is upon us! And my countdown of the Best Heavy Metal Horror Movies is in there! GO! BUY! NOW! (via Hard Feelings)
The Rats Are Coming, The Werewolves Are Here, and YOU are there! An-the-ground report from a 1981 all-night drive-in horror fest. (Temple of Schlock, which is my favorite blog at the moment)
Apocalyptically repulsive Halloween costumes for couples. (Day of the Woman)
Great article on Drive-In Movie, channel 5’s kung-fu staple on Saturday afternoon in New York,1981-1988. This is where EVERYONE I know discovered The Five Deadly Venoms. (DVD Drive-In)
Where were YOU in 1981, when NBC first aired John Carpenter’s Halloween? (Dinner With Max Jenke)
The Lazy World of Arthur Ignatowski is both a head-scratcher and loin-elongator at the same time. No mean feat. (Lazy World of Arthur Ignatowski)
All-around general heaviostiy. (Caves of Lilith)
Scopitones gone le wild. (Bedazzled)
Sword and sorcery, Nazi maidens, post-nuke thrill-freaks: It is proper to revere the (early) ’80s. (El Tremendo 3000)
From Rabid to Blacula to The Thing With Two Heads: Eye-popping collection of movie titles, straight off the screen. (Penetrating Insights)
Year of Our Exploitation 1979, Part 4: H.O.T.S., THE LEGACY, LUNA, MEATBALLS, MR. MIKE’S MONDO VIDEO
1979 wasn’t all Roller Boogie and Skatetown USA. It was a whole bunch of 
other completely awesome flicks, too. 
To me, 1979 comes right around the middle of “The Seventies”, per se, as I actually perceive the decade stretching – culturally, aesthetically and pubic hairstyle-wise – from mid-1973 all the way to the end of 1982, much the way that “The Sixties”, per se, kicked off with the JFK assassination (bang!) and the Beatles (yeah, yeah, yeah).
I also remember it as a dismally ugly year for fashion, as everyone looked caught between what the characters in Mad magazine’s “Lighter Side” strips would wear (and always did right up to creator Dave Berg’s final panel) and the cresting New Wave sensibility.
In retrospect, 1979 remains second to 1985 in terms of inescapable visual hideousness, but consider what I looked like as I hunted down whatever I could on the following collection of films: a bowl-cutted, amorphous, androgynously chubby 11-year old in aviator eyeglasses, a puffy down vest, and running shoes.
At least I never attempted to wedge my buttery prepubescent love-handles into a pair of designer jeans. Uh-oh, Sergio.
Linksploitation: October 9, 2009
Jessica Harper blogs! (JessicaHarper.com)
Trash Aesthetics‘ Chick Young lays out his 10 favorite movie characters. Great idea. (Trash Aesthetics)
How did I just, now, learn about Up in Flames (1973)? It’s an unauthorized porno adaptation of The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers meeting R. Crumb’s Mr. Natural! (Something Weird)
Spanking new interview with Jess Franco (SoledadMiranda.com via Tomb It May Concern)
I love Neil Marshall’s Dog Soldiers, don’t much care for The Descent, and I admire his ambitions in Doomsday (and not just for the tattoo-face chick). All told, I look forward to his upcoming project, Burst 3-D. Swell title. (Bloody Disgusting)
Dawn of the Mummy (1981). I rented this movie in high-school because the VHS box said it was rated X. I liked it. Sort of. As does this guy. Sort of not. (Mad Mad Mad Mad Movies)
Horror fan on Hitchcock. (Lightning Bug’s Lair)
What is your Holy Grail porno movie? (AV Maniacs)
Get pasty over eye-popping horror, exploitation, and B-movie posters. (Wrong Side of the Art)
I hope they serve piss (and it’s mine) at the memorial service following Tucker Max’s well-earned suicide. Actually, I just hope Tucker Max commits suicide. Let’s all encourage him however we can, eh? (IMDB Message Board)
Year of Our Exploitation 1979, Part 3: MAD MAX
The final year in the greatest of all decades is rife with cult and grindhouse masterworks. Come along for an exploration of these cinematic mayhem milestones as only McBeardo can provide - because it’s all about the crap I was doing when I saw these movies.
MAD MAX (1979)
Mad Max was made and released in Australia in 1979. The subsequent year, it opened at the Oceana Theater in Brighton Beach, Brooklyn. I wasn’t allowed to see it.
But I did marvel at the ad in the newspaper, wondering if its helmet-adorned, jack-booted, armed-in-leather “Maximum Force of the Future” was some kind of super-homo.
