Review: SPLINTER (2008)

Review: SPLINTER (2008)
Director: Toby Wilkins
Screenplay: Kai Berry, Ian Shorr, Toby Wilkins
Cast: Jill Wagner, Shea Whigham, Paulo Costanzo, Rachel Kerbs

McNUGGET: Splinter is one spiky creature-feature in every sense. Pungent characters, brilliantly played, take on a viscerally repulsive monster in believable circumstances. Each ostensible hero is a horror unto himself, prompting viewers to ponder who to root for. Or against. The way-cool special effects get undermined by shaky cam, but the total experience is worth the seizure.

SYNOPSIS:
A gas station attendant attempts to relax, only to be consumed by some wild animal-like creature. We then see gentile Yuppie couple Polly (Jill Wagner) and Seth (Paulo Costanzo) fail at camping, and subsequently get car-jacked by criminals Dennis (Shea Whigham) and Lacey (Rachel Kerbs). A blown tire leads the foursome to the remote gas station depicted earlier, where a monster awaits. As the bodies pile up, the creature shoots the porcupine-line “splinters” of the title, leading to a hideously gruesome consumption of its victims. The humans mount an explosive struggle for life.

McBLOVIATION:
Point blank: Splinter rocks. It’s gross, it’s tense, it’s engaging, and it contains performances so thoroughly credible that they defy typical horror movie logic.

As you yearn to shout what seems to be obvious advice at the screen – “Spray that bad guy with gasoline! Don’t light the backdoor on fire!” – the often infuriating characters get you wondering, Well, what would I actually do if I were trapped with a homicidal redneck thug on one side and a Tasmanian-Devil-looking spike-monster on the other?”

You think about your real self with your real fears and your real value systems being confronted by this believably unreal situation, and you’re forced to identify with Paulo Costanzo as one of the most furiously slap-inviting milquetoasts in the history of the movies. That alone makes Splinter a noteworthy achievement.

The creature is something special, too. But, as goes the bane of modern cinema, “shaky-cam” makes it impossible to appreciate this prickly dervish of ambulatory half-swallowed human parts until watching the DVD’s Special Effects bonus features.

Still, Splinter’s production values are excellent and it deserved a full-blown theatrical release. It certainly does not deserve to slip into horror-overload obscurity, so do make a point to see this fun, robust thriller. And then check yourself for slivers.

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