The Top 100 Cult Movie Nude Scenes of All Time: #90-81

Exposing the bare and the beautiful from movies weird, wonderful, and beloved by wackos.

Numbers 90 to 81.

Inspired by Mr. Skin’s Top 100 Celebrity Nude Scenes, here are 10 more naked revelations from your midnight shows, your dusk-to-dawn drive-ins, your double-secret backroom screenings, your late-night slumber party grossouts, your bars, your temples, your massage parlors….

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Number 90
Amanda Donohoe
The Lair of the White Worm (1988)
(1:22)
Clad only in war-paint and a wooden strap-on dick, vampiric vision Amanda menaces tied-to-a-stake Catherine Oxenberg mo(i)st magnificently.

• Wildman British auteur Ken Russell capped his two-decade run as one of cinema’s most reliably flesh-intensive filmmakers with this antic adaptation of a Bram Stoker story about a Scottish snake cult slithering wild.

• Amanda camps it up awesomely as the fang-baring high priestess. A few years later, she’d suck lesbian face on L.A. Law and concoct television’s go-to booster shot for goosing ratings: chicks making out.

• Ever over-the-top(less) and beyond the pale, Russell’s opulent oeuvre also includes The Devils (1971), Tommy (1975), Lisztomania (1975), Valentino (1977), Altered States (1980), Crimes of Passion (1984), and Whore (1991).

• White Worm co-star Catherine Oxenberg is a real-life Serbian princess who became a star as Amanda Carrington on TV’s Dynasty. Her finest work since then has been the tremendous retro-Women-in-Prison flick Time Served (1999). She plays a prisoner who gets sold by warden Louise Fletcher (Nurse Ratchid from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest) into indentured servitude. As a stripper.

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Number 89
Frankie Thorne
The Bad Lieutenant (1993)
(0:26)
Bad lieu Harvey Keitel gets a great view of Frankie, as a Sister of Mercy who was savaged in a church, lays back full-frontal in an examination room.

• She may not really be a nun, but Frankie’s sizable knockers are all natural, and she proves beyond a hair of a doubt that she was born a redhead.

• Bad Lieutenant is rated NC-17 and oozes, arguably, as the defining moment in the scabrous career of its writer-director, NYC firebrand Abel Ferrara. His crackpot canon also includes The Driller Killer (1979), Ms. 45 (1981), Fear City (1984), Cat Chaser (1989), King of New York (1990), Body Snatchers (1993), and New Rose Hotel (1998).

• An upcoming sequel, Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans stars Nicolas Cage, which is weird enough. Now consider that it’s being directed by German cinema giant Werner Herzog!

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Number 88
Candy Samples
Flesh Gordon (1974)
(0:49)
A cabal of space lesbians strips heroine Cindy Hopkins bare, ties her down for topless intergalactic dyke-pirate Candy Samples, and subjects her to literal tongue-lashing.

• Monster-mammaried Candy is one of the crossover Dairy Queens of both softcore and hardcore porn, as well as being a legendary huge-boob model for the fetish mags Juggs, Gem, D-Cup, Hustler’s Busty Beauties, and Gent: Home of the D-Cups.

• Among Candy’s nude-torious other cult films are Prison Girls (1972), Superchick (1973), Fantasm (1976), Deep Jaws (1976), Fantasm Comes Again (1977). She also busted out her tremendous talents in two Russ Meyer classics: Up! (1976) and Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens (1979).

• Flesh Gordon producer Bill Osco revved the formula up to XXX strength for his follow-up: the full-penetration musical Alice in Wonderland (1976), starring Playboy Playmate and Meatballs camp counselor Kristine DeBell chugging Mad Hatter wang and sucking on the Queen of Heart’s hot, wet pussy.

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Number 87
Ewa Aulin
Candy (1968)
(0:24)
Beneath the heft of heavy-breathing Richard Burton, Ewa offers her sweet teats and candy-ass to a wildly zooming camera.

• Please read, slowly, and ponder, deeply, Candy’s male cast in this adaptation of Terry Southern’s celebrated dirty-book satire of Voltaire’s Candide: Richard Burton, Marlon Brando, James Coburn, John Huston, Water Matthau, Ringo Starr, Charles Aznavour, Sugar Ray Robinson, Buck Henry, and John Astin. Now imagine the firepower required of the lone female to stand up to such brutes. Ewa (pronounced “Eva”) more than meets the requirements.

•In the tradition of other high-stakes bad-taste comedies of the 1960s such as Dr. Strangelove (1964), where Peter Sellers plays multiple parts, and The Loved One (1965), where Jonathan Winters appears as numerous characters, Candy showcases Astin in different roles. If only one of them could have simply been Gomez Addams!

• Candy is often lumped together with the big-screen version of Gore Vidal’s Myra Breckenridge (1970), wherein Rex Reed has a sex change to become Raquel Welch and “ball” Farrah Fawcett, as two woefully misguided commingling points of Old Hollywood and psychedelic rage. Each is intermittently fascinating, pretty much terrible, and absolutely worthy of their enduring cult status.

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Number 86
Melissa George
Dark City (1998)
(0:15)
Future-hooker Melissa peels for a john, revealing every bare inch of her lovely body, including her retro-future pubic-hairstyle. She must be expensive!

• Lifelong sci-fi devotee Roger Ebert named Dark City his favorite film of 1998, and does a commentary track on the collector’s DVD.

• Dark City director Alex Proyas introduced us to Bai Ling’s butt in The Crow (1994).

• Perth, Australia native Melissa has conquered the U.S. boob tube via HBO’s In Treatment and Grey’s Anatomy on ABC, two facts you shouldn’t know unless you’re a broad – and very specifically the sort of broad who doesn’t come to this website.

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Number 85
Karin Mani
Alley Cat (1984)
(0:49)
In the world’s narrowest prison shower, Karin soaps up her superhumanly humongous wonder-udders alongside another stacked convict.

• Karin remains one of the most mysterious figures in grindhouse cinema – in addition to boasting one of the most astonishing all natural figures ever captured on film. Her only nude credit beside the martial-arts rape-and-revenge of Alley Cat is the udderly awesome Avenging Angel (1985).

• Taut-bodied, long-legged, and obviously athletic, Karin’s facial features suggest that she is part Asian, but her jamambo super-jugs deliciously bring to mind the Italian Alps and bodonkadonk backside roundly feels of Mother Africa.

•Like its star, Alley Cat proved to be an elusive title for me to track down. I first read about the movie upon its 42nd Street release in The Gore Gazette, and decided to wait for the VHS release, so I could properly release to Karin myself in the comfort of my own basement pleasure palace. But not a single video store in Brooklyn ever stocked the tape.

In fact, I didn’t see this flick until 1999, when I was visiting an uncle in Massachusetts and we dropped by Blockbuster to get a movie. There was Alley Cat.

I rented it for private consumption later in the evening and, don’t sweat it, Uncle Bonko, I waited until I was back in Brooklyn to rewind it in my mind and pay proper tribute to Karin Mani.

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Number 84
Aimee Graham
Dance With the Devil (1997)
(0:47)
Bound to a bed, Aimee squeals as really big, really bad voodoo-daddy Javier Bardem tears open her shirt and suckles her supple B-cups.

• Aimee Graham is the sister of Heather Graham, and her face became familiar to MTV viewers as one of the singing bar customers in REM’s “Man in the Moon” video.

As for any sibling rivalry – sure, Heather might have gotten the D-cups and the A-list celebrity status, she’s never been in a movie remotely as cool as Dance With the Devil.

•In 1994, cable’s Showtime network remade a passel of 1960s’ Roger Corman nuggets. Aimee stars in the title role of that series’ Reform School Girl, where she enjoys a nice, topless lesbian make-out.

• Also known as Perdita Duranga, this is one of the most woefully underappreciated over-the-top exercises in slam-bang, sick-joke excess to ever blow minds and stomp asses on a movie screen.

My hope has always been that, like its psychotic soulmate Freeway (1995), Perdita Durango would find its way to a sizable cult following.

Perhaps now that Javier Bardem is a bona fide star, the curious will seek it out. Because if his air-gun killer in No Country for Old Men ever came across Bardem’s black magician here, that pretender would be chewed up, shit out, and splayed open for proper sodomization by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins’ skull-truncheon.

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Number 83
Laurie Walters
The Harrad Experiment (1973)
(0:42)
Laurie tosses off her clothes to dive into a campus pool for a skinny-dip with Don Johnson.

• Anyone who came of age came in the 1970s also came at least once to highlighted passages in the paperback edition of The Harrad Experiment by Robert Rimmer. This ubiquitous non-stop seller was available at drug stores, surf shops, candy counters, and maybe even book stores everywhere.

•The movie version of The Harrad Experiment was co-scripted by Ted Cassidy – Lurch from the The Addams Family! He also makes a cameo as a chain-smoking diner patron who’s none-to-impressed by these smart-aleck Harrad College kids … at first.

• After a smash early-days-of-VHS release on the wondrous Wizard Video label, The Harrad Experiment made its TV debut in June 1986 on New York City’s WOR (channel 9). And it aired uncut!

This inexplicable blow for freedom figured as a high point of truly wild doings at channel 9, which aired up to eight movies every day, most of which were horror-related, ranging from ’50s B-films to constant rerunnings of Alice Sweet Alice (1976) and Tourist Trap (1979).

Come ’86, some mad genius took over programming WOR’s 8-to-10pm Million Dollar Movie and debuted cult oddities on the order of May West’s mighty Sextette (1978).

I watched Harrad the night it aired with my sister and, seeing all that nudity on our kitchen TV set, especially from Laurie Walters – Joanie on Eight Is Enough! – I didn’t know whether to feel more amazed or embarrassed. Fortunately, I was simultaneously taping it downstairs so in private I could, later, simply … amaze myself to it.

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Number 82
Leticia Marfil
Pieces (1982)
(0:58)
After a sudsily satisfying boobs-butt-and-bushtastic shower, European-looking Letecia slips into a pair of gym shorts. She’s then chased topless by a chainsaw-happy hack-and-slasher-type, and we get an unforgettable close-up on her crotch as she pisses herself in uproarious terror.

• Pieces’ tagline – “It’s exactly what you think it is!” – has long struck me as false advertising. Whatever one might imagine is possible in even the most berserk and unhinged splatter movie, Pieces slices, dices, chops, and blasts way, way past that.

•No spontaneous urination could compete with Leticia’s Pieces peeing until Kate Winslet’s full-frontal golden onslaught in Holy Smoke (1999).

After decades of hacked-apart, grimy-transfer video releases, in 2008, the heroes at Grindhouse Releasing issued a blood-red dream-come-true Special Edition DVD of Pieces.
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Number 81
Samantha Mathis
Pump Up the Volume (1990)
(1:13)
Coming on strong to Christian Slater in his backyard, Samatha doffs her sweater and serves up an exceedingly lovely gander at her pert teenage torso-bumpers.

•Samantha’s nudity is gloriously gratuitous. What could have been communicated on-screen with a simple kiss instead becomes a 92-second celebration of stiff nipples and the no-bra-necessary fortitude of adolescent breastusses.

•Pump director Allan Moyle is the anti-John-Hughes: his obsessive films about high-school fuck-ups (which also include Times Square, Empire Records, and Jailbait) ripple with sex and often explode into nakedness.

•Esteemed critic David Edelstein hoped that Slater’s Pump hero Happy Harry Hardon would become the Billy Jack of the ’90s. It didn’t quite happen, but I’ll take this movie over any castrated dross from the aforementioned Hughes and, I dare say, even the calculated jolts of Heathers (1989), which ultimately can’t commit to the mad anarchy of Lord Love a Duck (1966) or the dire fatalism of Massacre at Central High (1976).

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Okay. Read. Retch. React. Next batch - numbers 80 to 71 - goes up on Friday, June 26, 2009. Don’t do anything in the meantime, EXCEPT leave me some comments.

Who’s missing so far?

Who should be further up the list?

Who are you going to be furious over if I leave out? Hah?

HAH?

And be sure to go back and read The Top 100 Cult Movie Nude Scenes #100-91.

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