Reviews: NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD, SAW 6, PARANORMAL ACTIVITY

Paying work beckons me away from the blog too often these days, which, I understand, is a complaint that should be dutifully underscored by the sound of Artie Lange’s sarcastic wail: “WAAHHHHH!”

Still, I am committed to keeping this whacked-out movie dialogue going twixt I and you, dear readers, and so here’s a capsule round-up of what I’ve watched lately. I’ll even throw in letter grades for you skim-skims out there. Here’s three. More’s coming.

*

NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD: THE WILD, UNTOLD STORY OF OZSPLOITATION! (2008)

The subject matter is irresistible, but that’s no guarantee of a worthwhile documentary. Cases in point: Inside Deep Throat (2005), which glossily chokes the endlessly fascinating story of history’s definitive dirty movie into feel-cool, liberal Hollywood propaganda; and You’re Gonna Miss Me (2005), which somehow manages to be deadly boring on the topic of off-his-rocker psych-rock pioneer Roky Erikson (who I saw live on Halloween, and who was great).

Not Quite Hollywood makes good on the potential of its source material, though, joyfully celebrating and illuminating Australian-made exploitation movies from the 1970s and ’80s, from the worldwide hits (Mad Max, Patrick) to cult triumphs (Turkey Shoot, Road Games) to some right ripping, culturally non-translatable wonders (Alvin Purple, Barry Humphries’ Barry McKenzie comedies).

Also explored in-depth are The Man From Hong Kong (the theme song of which is Jigsaw’s immortal “Sky High”), Dr. Gonzo Gates versus a giant pig in the surreal Razorback, the biker blowout Stone, The Cars That Eat People, and the astonishing, artful, crumbling-couple-against-nature conflict The Long Weekend. There’s even a bit of BMX Bandits!

Most times, I have no patience for post-Kid-Stays-in-the-Picture whirling photographs and splashing graphics in documentaries, but in Not Quite Hollywood, the peripatetic imagery matches the movies being discussed and adds to the overall impact.

And what discussions they are. Aside from Humphries and filmmakers such as George Miller, Richard Franklin and Fred Schepisi, we also see also George Lazenby, Dennis Hopper, Jamie Lee Curtis, Stacy Keach and, most remarkably, Quentin Tarantino being incredibly non-annoying.

For once, you get the sense that Tarantino’s sole agenda is that he simply loves these movies and he’s loving this opportunity to share them with us, punctuated by minimal “OKAY?s” and “ALLRIGHT?s” and “YOUKNOW?s”.

That alone is an achievement, but it may be the least of the reasons to recommend Not Quite Hollywood. And that, plus the instant additions this film will make to your Netflix queue, stands as quite something.

OKAY? ALLRIGHT? YOUKNOW?
Rating: A

*

SAW VI (2009)
Just when it seemed like the lousy and incomprehensible fifth installment might help the Saw franchise the way Jigsaw helps those who have to help themselves out of his agony-traps, numero seis returns to at least the quality of #4 and bolsters its charm incalculably by attempting to make ludicrous, completely inappropriate political statements (the movie opens with corrupt mortgage lenders extracting pounds of their own flesh, then lingers on decidedly unhealthy happenings raining down upon health insurance executives. For real!).

Tobin Bell is never more engaging than when we see him pre-Jiggification, which we see plenty of here (my favorite: he and preggo wife Betsy Russell cooing hello to their inevitably doomed unborn) and the shotgun-rigged playground carousel is a blast. Pun, as always, intended.
Rating: B

*

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY (2009)
Nothing happens on screen in Paranormal Activity. Nothing. What happens in the Paranormal Activity audience, however, is a different story.

The sold-out crowd with whom I saw PA cringed, winced, moaned, shrieked, and bellowed repeatedly at … nothing.

And as much as the “no cigar” designation must be assigned to a horror movie that does not supply a single moment of dread or suspense, let alone fear, really let alone terror, there is something very likable about a horror “happening” – where the participants fake reactions just to be a part of some larger something.

Normally, I’m averse to phony noise in movie theaters (or anywhere else) – think of “Look at me! I get it!” arthouse laughter and the scheduled burst of applause after the treetop fight in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon that was carefully implanted by jizzing critics. But when it comes to horror, I forgive. I embrace, even. It’s fun to be scared together. Even when you’re not. Not for one stupid second.

Rating: D

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